Good news! Thanks to my quadrust.com colleague Dean Chambers and his new method of unskewing polls and voter preferences, we now know that it is challenger Mitt Romney who is leading President Barack Obama by double digit numbers in every swing state.
And thanks to Chambers’ new math magic of “doubly weighted” voter registration numbers, I have been able to apply his technique to past elections with astounding results.
By using Chambers’ unskew methodology, I can now show that John McCain actually beat Barack Obama 54-45 percent…an impressive +9 margin of victory. And much more intuitively accurate than Obama’s 7% margin of victory that the official results would have you believe.
But wait, the news is even better. By unskewing the 2008 primary race, I can predict with confidence that Hillary Clinton actually won the Democratic nomination. Which means that Obama didn’t even run for the presidency. So McCain would have actually won 535 electoral votes (since history shows that Hillary wasn’t on the ballot).
Yes, unskewing data is the new rage. And it’s not just for politics anymore.
Negative bank balance? No problem. Just tell Chase Manhattan that you have applied a more scientific accounting method to their skewed Debit and Credit records — which clearly have a “credit bias.” So that $30 overage fee should be refunded along with an extra $2273 debited into your liquid CD account.
And that recent speeding ticket? Simply tell the judge that by unskewing the radar gun counter and its obvious speeding bias, you can show with empirical certainty that you were only going 33 miles an hour.
I even unskewed my Match.com age and found out that I am 44 and still in my child bearing years. Bring it on, 30-something never-marrieds – I’m now your guy!
So thank you, Dean Chambers, for showing that 50 years of survey science is no match for your instinct that polls showing Obama winning “just didn’t look right.” It’s now clear that your conservative bias to disbelieve your candidate is getting his butt kicked is the proper counterweight to the liberal bias of all polls everywhere. And that hiring highly respected national polling firms to count 1500 randomly selected voters every single day is a waste of time and money.
And thank you for showing that with gut feelings and questionable methodology to back you up, even a decent eye for graphic design is unnecessary for your narcissistic website and wild conspiracy theories to become a national sensation.