On the physical level you are not whole and this sense of lack is even greater if you identify with the mind. If only you could get rid of the pain and destructive cycles and stop waiting for an event in time to save you. You feel vulnerable and insecure always seeking new things to identify with. But then, that special relationship comes along, that drug, booze, or even a person, and you move your center outside of you.
You still haven’t found what you are looking for
The new thing seems to be the answer to ego’s problem and to meet all its needs, at least it appears to be this way. You now have a single focal point and no longer feel disconnected and fragmented in an uncaring universe. The feelings of fear, lack and unfulfillment, so characteristic of the ego are no longer there. Did they go away or do they still lie underneath the layers of surface. When those painful feelings resurface you will feel them.
Every addiction comes from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain
Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain, no matter what it is you are addicted to. That’s why once the initial happiness is gone the unhappiness and pain step right back in . You are using-drugs, food, people, things, to cover up your pain. When the addiction does not suffice in covering up the pain any more, then you feel the pain more intensely than ever.
Using the future as a salvation
Running away from the present moment is not the answer, the real thing to do is to focus on the now, bring your center back inside of you, where the pain is, and it can be a very scary thing, but it is also where the love is. If you only know how easy it is to access the power of presence in the now, you could see how close you really are to your own reality and to God.
Avoiding relationships is not the answer either
The pain is there either way. Three failed relationships in three years is more likely to force you into awakening than three years spent in the dessert or locked away in your home. Being strong enough to get over the ‘thinker’ in your head and becoming consciousness, because underneath all of that lies the stillness that is love and joy. To disengage or to stop identifying with your thinking is to be the silent observer of your thoughts and behavior and the repetitive patterns your mind and the ego play on you.
Stop investing in the self-ness and the mind loses its compulsive behavior
The greatest catalyst for change is acceptance, there are no victims or perpetrators in your relationships anymore and this also ends co-dependency. It’s that simple, but it takes time to come to this type of realization.
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