I obtained a copy of Harry Perry’s “Video Commander” this past weekend, and I thought I’d give it the full review treatment. The album as a piece of music receives two stars, and as a piece of comedy, four stars!
Track 1, “XMan Can’t Save Me Now”: Hot Stratocaster-like sounds bubble up in the background as Harry sings about alien-experience themes. The chorus kicks in singing “Superheros, superheros, superheros,” and you feel like you haven’t done enough acid to understand a word of what is going on in this music. “Turn up your radio,” there’s a familiar phrase. “Crank up your radio,” slang use good! “The galactic leader orders retreat,” and you’ve been ejected into space on a pod bound for God knows where!
Track 2, “Queen Of Robot World”: “Queen’s machine, feel the power,” what in the world is this song even about? “Battery system,” odd words pop out of the mish-mash of psychedelic rock “transplanted to machines,” “to do the work it would take a factory to complete,” the dialogue reads like the script from iRobot or something. The sad part of this music is that someone actually put a lot of thought into the lyrics to sound this bad. However, if terrible is the cult-classic feel your project is after for rolling credits, this song is perfect for you! The chorus flows like a demolition derby! Around the 7:22 mark, I can’t take anymore and click “next.”
Track 3, “Time Travel Freaks”: Any song that starts with the phrase “Molecular structures dissolve in a continuum, a parallel existence, mirror of reality,” has got to be the phrase that pays, right? “Time traveler, slam yourself through” rolls off, and you can be certain you’re in for a cacophony of existential drivel combined with a barrage of exclamations on pseudo science themes! Sweet! You like jello.
Track 4, “Love Jet”: This almost punk sounding piece encourages you to “switch on your love jet,” and you can take that any way you will, but I think it must be some kind of reference to either male sexual peak, or “transmit a love wave” is what the care bears do in the care bear stare, and the song is all about that. There you have it.
Track 5, “Hot Rod Lincoln”: Hot rods never sounded so jalopy. The chorus actually starts with the words “Lunch time.” If you’re a stoner, you’re going to love this song.
Track 6, “Intro To Invaders”: Another allegory for male copulative acts. “An earth man traveling through space with his laser!” The one graceful reprieve is that the track is so short.
Track 7, “Video Commander”: I start to feel like the queen being invaded by the rapacious betrayer in the movie 300, “You will not enjoy this, this will not be over quickly.” “Video commander at the speed of light.” I thought a video commander was the guy in the live editing room at TRL on MTV? “Gentlemen! Warp Speeeeeeeeeeeed!” “Gentlemen, we’re under attack!” “Battlestations! Fire! Fire! Fire!” Ugg, make it stop. At 5:57 I bounce.
Track 8, “Music Maker”: This sounds like what could be the best song on the album. Until Harry starts singing and I recognize that he offers much of the tonal quality of David Bowie without the impeccable lyricism, and that could be why I’m so off-put by this album. “She brought the blessing transmitted” from Narnia or something… These tracks are just too long.
Track 9, “Guiding Forces”: Another cacophony of God knows what. “New age astro woman,” ‘er something.
Track 10, “Gambling Man”: “Save our planet,” I like where this is going. “Gambling man is out to save our planet with a game of chance,” wtf? This song reads like one’s first poetry notebook, and not the tenth, however relevant.
While it’s not for everyone, I recognize that there are people out there who will absolutely love this album. I’m just not one of them. If he weren’t my new friend, I would burn this album and demand the last half hour of my life back. Thanks for reading! I hope this helps you with your music choices. This is perfect music for B or C sci-fi cult classic type film fodder for stoned masses.
This album made two stars because one star would be an album with only screeches and forks banging on pots and pans.
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