If you aren’t happy with that Texans win, there’s no help for you. You are probably a man who would be disappointed dating Scarlett Johansson when you saw her without makeup or a woman who would complain about Ryan Gosling being more attractive than you.
No performance is ever perfect, but you would be hard-pressed to find many better efforts than the Texans’ 43-13 victory over Baltimore. You can make the case it was the most impressive and dominant win in Texans history, considering the opposition.
The defense was phenomenal, recording four sacks of Joe Flacco, but more importantly getting constant pressure and rattling the self-proclaimed elite QB into a 21-for-43 passing performance for just 147 yards with two picks, both on tipped passes. His quarterback rating was 45.4.
Stop us if you have heard this one before: one by J.J. Watt tipped a pass that led to a pick six.
Rookie Whitney Mercilus made an appearance with a sack and several pressures. Connor Barwin returned to the fold with his first effective game of the season, including a sack that led to a safety.
Antonio Smith had back to back sacks.
The Texans erased the bad taste of Sunday night’s tail whipping against the Packers by beating the Ravens for the first time in franchise history. They also upped their record to 6-1 for the first time in franchise history.
Through seven games, they are the best team in the AFC — wait for it — for the first time in franchise history.
The offense was solid both running and passing the football. Matt Schaub was not particularly sharp, but his receivers made outstanding catches when he wasn’t quite on target and he finished a solid 23 of 37 for for 256 and two TDs with no picks.
The Texans didn’t turn the ball over. They kept adding scores even with the big lead. They simply treated the Ravens like Ed Norton in the shower scene in American History X.
Yes, the Ravens had some injuries. So what? So do the Texans. As CBS kept pointing out, the Ravens were without Ray Lewis, Lardarius Webb and had a beaten up Ed Reed.
The Texans were missing Brian Cushing, had a beaten up Jonathan Joseph and a rookie starting at right guard, but that didn’t seem to register with them. (Over/under on how many times “Terrell Suggs” was mentioned?).
But it wasn’t the Ravens’ injured defense that cost them the game. It was the Ravens offense being overwhelmed by the Texans defense that made the difference.
The Texans now get a bye week to heal up Joseph and Antione Caldwell. They get Buffalo when they return, with a shot to get to 7-1 before the schedule tightens up again.
The win over the Ravens could be big when it comes to playoff seeding; the Texans now have the head to head, and could potentially avoid a trip to Baltimore. That could be huge for a team with Super Bowl aspirations.
When you have potentially the most impressive win in team history, what do you have to complain about?
Even if you think Scarlett has a mole and Ryan is whiny without his coffee, you have nothing to be unhappy about today if you are a Texans fan. This was pure and simple dominance on the way to several more franchise firsts.
And if they have more days like this ahead, the firsts won’t end anytime soon. Enjoy it; this ride is just getting started.