I’m still busy finalizing some fantastic tech dating articles. But in the meantime, let’s examine ways that you can take that digital connection offline! Much like some of my other “slightly” off topic articles, the reality is that digital matchmaking is no substitution for being able to carry your own in the real world. And my background is providing date coaching services to men. So, consider this an ongoing series.
The Art of Flirting…Wit Isn’t Always Necessary
So, this afternoon I was out and about in Times Square – I know I know…I never spend time there. But I was there today okay! Anywho, I ended up chatting with a friendly guy who I kind of think was flirting with me. And I say “kind of” because sometimes you’re never really sure if a guy is really being flirty or just being chatty because you both happen to be stuck in the same situation so you might as well make do and have a conversation. For the record we were both at an event.
We had a random conversation about food and somehow the topic moved to candy and which candy was better. With Halloween around the corner, the topic was truly relevant. He was an M&M’s kind of guy and I prefer Snickers – because seriously, Snickers rule! Anyway, on my train ride home, it got me thinking about how flirting doesn’t always have to equal witty or deep conversations. Sometimes, it’s the fun connections that are more memorable. So, this particular article is for the fellas.
And as an FYI, I’m not focusing on women with this particular “Art of Flirting” article. Let’s face it, for the most part, women have less hurdles to jump when it comes to approaching a man than in the reverse situation. Anyway, over the years with my dating advice that I’ve given or the coaching I’ve provided, I see men getting so overwhelmed with the idea of having to approach a woman that they psych themselves out of even trying to start a conversation. They don’t think that they have anything “witty” enough to say and therefore don’t attempt anything. And thus, they let a perfectly great opportunity for making a connection pass them by.
So gentlemen let me tell you now, and obviously this is coming from a woman, deep hard-hitting conversations are not a prerequisite to flirting. I repeat, they’re not required. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great if you and the intended amour can connect over Leo Tolstoy and his social commentary woven throughout Anna Karenina. But it’s equally cool to find out that you and the object of your desire both really love Psy’s Gangnam Style and do the ridiculous dance in your bedroom while your dogs watch you in wonder and confusion.
The point is guys, you never really know what it is that’s going to make a woman decide that you’re the one and that she should consider you as a potential match. And more often than not, you’re letting your fear of running out of things to say keep you from attempting to make that connection. So, I challenge you to ignore your fear and take the rest of 2012 to approach women even if you feel like your mind is an excessively blank canvas. In fact, don’t allow any rejection to keep you from approaching other women.
Note: This doesn’t mean that you should start relying on cheesy one-liners and pick up lines. I still expect, that even if it’s the most banal and unoriginal conversation, that it be a genuine topic that is truly of interest to you! But the goal with this exercise is to:
- get comfortable with approaching women
- managing rejection without taking it as a personal affront to your ego
- learning to get comfortable with thinking on your feet
Happy flirting y’all!