An irony about the high drama in the Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart so-called cheating scandal is seen in the wake of today’s news from France, October 12, 2012, and the infidelity scandal with their First Lady. Kristen Stewart admitted to a “no sex” indiscretion and the tabloids brand her a “love cheat” almost daily. Entertainmentwise again today talked of her “betrayal of Robert Pattinson.” Now look at this from the Daily Mail: “Allegations that France’s glamorous First Lady, Valerie Trierweiler, once conducted parallel affairs with socialist Francois Hollande, who is now President, and one of his conservative rivals have barely prompted the raising of elegantly plucked Parisian eyebrows.” Why the two reactions? And what is it that pushes a woman to be unfaithful?
The two reactions:
In the US, Entertainmentwise asked today: “Are Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Working Through Their ‘Weird Tension’?” They go on to wonder how things will go given “Stewart’s very public betrayal of Robert Pattinon – not to mention his humiliation.”
In Europe mistresses seem to come as part of a political package. “Former French Presidents Francois Mitterrand and Jacques Chirac both had affairs while in office.” The French relaxed about infidelity?
Over-reaction regarding Stewart and her honesty:
Essentially the public sees Stewart and Pattinson as a real life extension of a movie fantasy. To keep branding Stewart a “cheat” is demeaning to all women, and basically just serves the needs of infidelity mavens and the tabloids.
Stewart took a stand unheard of in Tinseltown – she honestly admitted her mistake. And the public has been unforgiving.
Here is the reality with regard to unfaithful women:
Fewer than 3 percent of women are unfaithful annually and just about 15 percent over a lifetime say national authorities researching data funded by the National Science Foundation.
I have spoken with the head of the National Marriage Project, Dr. W. Bradford Wilcox of the University of Virginia to confirm this.
Why do women cheat?
Women cheat most often when they have “had it.” However, when a woman is unfaithful, the marriage often crumbles is what Dr. Ian Kerner, sexuality counselor writing for CNN, essentially said in Female infidelity: It’s different from the guys:
“A woman who cheats is often a woman who doesn’t want to work it out. She’s already invested time trying to work it out, and she’s done. It’s too late.”
So yes, men must be willing to admit their share in the collapse of a relationship.
This from Sarah Harrison at the Huffington Post
While Harrison is talking here about reasons that women should not necessarily leave a man who cheats, the reverse is also true. Note also that she says that “the person who was cheated on has to acknowledge their part.”
“Cheating means the partner who steps out isn’t getting something they need from the relationship. If it’s impossible to fix that problem, you may need to end the relationship. But that isn’t realistic for some couples, especially when children are involved. Plus, if you do get to the root of the affair, your partnership can emerge stronger than ever.
“For that to happen, both members of the couple have to be willing to do the healing work–and that might mean that the person who was cheated on has to acknowledge their part in the affair.
“The part the injured partner played may be small, but a relationship is made of two people. If something goes wrong, it’s happened to both people.
“Don’t get me wrong; I’m not blaming the victim. If both parties promised fidelity and one broke the promise, that person has done something wrong. But it’s not helpful to assign all the blame to one partner, and then say the blameless partner should get rid of the cheater.” Sarah Harrison: Why You Shouldn’t Necessarily Leave a Cheating Husband
It’s time to move on from labels.
Week in review: Weekend love-lies news: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart
Copyright 2012 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved
Adapted from www.ritawatson.com