More thoughts, recaps, and analysis of TLC’s “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.”
(For part one of this article, please click here.)
Honey Boo Boo does an interview where she says she’s really excited, but she’s tired of the gnats flying all over her. Then mama does an interview where she’s also waving off the gnats.
Why are there so many gnats? Every single interview, they’re swatting a swarm of them away. It’s like the whole family is living in the belly of a dead Tauntaun.
Honey Boo Boo’s gay Uncle Poodle (her nickname for him, because she calls all gay people poodles) comes in to help her with her pageant routine.
Honey Boo Boo: Ain’t nothing wrong with being a little gay. Everybody’s a little gay.
Mama: He’s got a little fruit in his tank, what can I say?
Their embracing of Uncle Poodle seems both heartwarming, and their expectations of him to add “sass” seem a bit stereotypical. That’s good enough for this show, I guess.
Uncle Poodle teaches her to do a cartwheel, and it turns into a grass fight where the family throws grass and dirt all over each other.
The family gets ready to leave for the pageant, and Chubbs steps in dog poop while loading the car. That’s either a pretty bad omen, or an overwhelming metaphor, and I’ll confess I’m not sure which.
At the pageant, Honey Boo Boo gives a good show in the opening beauty round, and wears her “blueberry” swimsuit for the next one. She doesn’t win in her age group, but she does win the “People’s Choice” award.
I’m sure none of the people who voted were at all influenced by the full film crew following her around. Just saying.
The family has a surprise for Honey Boo Boo, and they bring back Glitzy the pig. Alana asks Mama if they can bring her back home, and she still says no.
Okay, bringing the beloved pet back only to send him away again seems cruel. Even if Honey Boo Boo can visit anytime she wants, bringing Glitzy back for a fresh round of pet-losing is a lousy way to give a reward.
Oh well, at least Glitzy’s still alive and doing well.
The show ends with some highlights of the season, and everything that’s happened to the family and Honey Boo Boo over the last ten episodes, including her pageants.
Mama: Whatever Alana chooses to do, if she chooses to go on and compete for the rest of her life, fine. If not, then we move on to one of our other adventures, and that’s fine too.
Honey Boo Boo: My family is the best!
And with that, the summer of Honey Boo Boo mercifully ends. What can you say about it? Not as bad as it could have been, I guess. There were quite a few funny moments along the way, and a few heartwarming ones. They’re an odd family of course, that’s how they got the TV show, but you can still see them acting as a true family. Of course, there were a few awful ones played up by the TLC film crew, too, but that’s how reality TV goes.
As Mama said in the final line of the season, “It is what it is.”
Rating (entire first season): Five out of ten on a normal human scale, seven out of ten on a “Honey Boo Boo Sassified” scale.
— Reid Kerr hopes Glitzy gets a spin-off. Follow Reid on Twitter or subscribe to him on Facebook and yell at him.