The days are getting shorter and the weather a little cooler. So now when I jump out of bed, eager to start the day, I look at my clock to make sure it’s not too early! However, the beautiful mountain sunrises are inspirational.
Dear Donndez – My father passed away last month and I’ve had my mom living with me since his passing. My husband says it’s time for her to go home and it’s hard on my kids, but she’s still so sad and listless. What should I do? – Katie P., Las Cruces
First off, let me offer my sincerest condolences. I’m sure you miss your dad. Losing one’s life partner and mate with whom all of life’s challenges and blessings have been shared is nightmarish. Personally, I shared life for only 14 years with my husband and it was hard to see beyond the sorrow at first. I hate to imagine what someone like your mom is suffering.
You say she is listless. Get her to a doctor to ensure her grief is not killing her. There is a danger of her suffering from Broken Heart Syndrome, so you want to ensure her recovery from grief.
The days are still temperate in New Mexico, so get her out on daily walks and make sure she starts interacting with her friends. Is there a church or non-profit group she might join? There are many groups that work together who have survived widowhood. Other surviving widows are a lifeline that can almost be a miraculous assistance.
If your mom is to return to the marital home, see if there is someone who can live with her for a while. It wouldn’t need to be more than a few months, but would require her to continue doing little things for someone to fill some of the otherwise empty time. Plus, they can help start cleaning out clothes and other items that are no longer needed (i.e., medical gear).
Lastly, I have a blend for tea that helps with sorrow. This blend helps equalize the chemical imbalance caused by grief and boosts the immunity system. Use equal parts of:
- Echinacea root
- Linden flower
- Dandelion leaf
Mix the herbs well, simmer for 10 minutes, and strain. Use one teaspoon per cup up to four times a day.
Lastly, I encourage your mom to reconnect with her religious roots. Whether active before or not, there is hope that comes from acknowledging and developing one’s ties to a Higher Power. Loss is never forgotten, but reconnecting or strengthening one’s spiritual beliefs provides light at the end of the tunnel. This light then gives coping skills and hope, which in turn makes life worth living again.
That’s all for this week – have a healthy and happy week!
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