Deep within the cooler of a local Circle K store I found a bottle of this purple stuff that looks like it came out of a telemarketers’ van. Not that it looked shady, but it looked… scammy. I feel like somewhere there is a guy like Professor Harold Hill from the Music Man who is trying to sell this from the back of his van. I have not heard of Genesis Today, but it seems they are big in the Super-Fruits category, selling mass amount sof super-fruity to ultra-healthy woo science lovers while advertising their wares of Dr. Oz and other pseudo medical channels. I feel like after I drink this I should feel more alive, younger, more healthy and be able to glow rainbows.
Alas, I am still rainbowless. I don’t mind a nice Juice every now and then, but the whole thing where you have to eat foods rich in Amazonian goodness to get their ultra-healing powers is just bunk, and frustrates me a little when a drink decides to sell its wares on the backs of the gullible and the Third World Population that unwittingly gives it up. If you look at foods that are the most high in anti-oxidant goodness, you will find just as much good stuff in just about anything you eat on any normal day. Plums, nuts, refried beans, apples, and about a thousand other foods. I like this juice, but it is really just that – tasty grape juice with some caffeine in it.
I don’t know exactly why, but it feels like this bottle is from a MLM home shopping club, like Young Living or Avon. One of the reasons this just feels weird is because the expiration date was very close to when I bought it (which means it might have been sitting on the shelf of the local Circle K for a very long time), and it certainly does not help that it seems the company does not even make this product anymore. They make something like it, called Wake Me instead, but that one is not sold anywhere in Colorado either (At least according to their product locator on their website). After a little digging on their site, it appears there is an MLM aspect to their business, But they might be found elsewhere too – hopefully not just out of the backs of vans.
Energize Me comes in a nice clear shrink wrapped pet bottle. There is really nothing wrong with this bottle, but there is nothing particularly exciting about it either, The biggest part of the drink is the brand name, which unfortunately comes off like a MLM product than an actual bona-fide juice company. Also, it comes in a orangey red bottle, which is not really the color I see for an energy juice. There are some very cartoony lightning bolts on it, but they completely blend into the reddish background.
Functionally, the package is decent. They very helpfully list te caffeine, as well as all the other nutrition clearly. I like the PET bottle it comes in, and it works well with their healthy image. While it does not really have much going on, it does what it does decently enough.
Are you a fan of the concord grape? Have you ever chugged down Kosher wine? If so then you will really get into Energize Me juice, which tastes mostly like the Maneshewitz.THis is not a bad thing, although it is a little disappointing. After all, the cheapest juices to produce are apple and grape, which is why they are a filler to most juice blends. THat is also why straight pomegranate juice or acai is so expensive – because of the lack of apple or grape fillers.
In this case, the drink is mainly about filler, with just enough juice to make their claims fo being All Juice. While I liked the drink and I liked the flavor, I do think it is pretty misleading. The package says this is Pomegraate Berry. While I can taste a little pomegranate, there was little berry to be found. instead you have ruby red kosher grape juice, which is tasty enough, but probably no what they were going for.
Since it was all juice, I thought the best thing would be to un-healthy this a bit and make it into a screwdriver of sorts. Unfortunately, it did not turn out well. The grape in here is powerful enough that this turned into something akin to Roses Irish Red Wine, and that is not a very good thing. This definitely does not make for a good mixer, unless you could find a few other flavors, like lime juice, to help balance it out.
I knew I was in trouble when the front page of their website asked:
Does this product contain Svetol®? YES!
Does this product contain 45% or more Chlorogenic Acids? YES!
Is this product free of excipients, fillers and binders? YES!
Does this product contain green coffee antioxidants “GCAs”? YES!
I dare ask, how many of you out there have ever heard of Svetol, Cholorogenic Acid, excipients or GCAs? I know that I have reviewed near a thousand drinks and have never heard of Svetol. I guess this is due to the fact that I am not really up on my diet-fad pills, and this is akin to the Hoodia of the 90s. There have been studies and all sorts of infomercials on how you can lose up to 80 pounds in 3 days only by taking these pills or something like that.
My only real problem is that if this drink is trying to market itself as a weight loss supplement, maybe it should have less than the 200 calories in a bottle. Just sayin’, even 200 calories that are packed full of fruit juice is still almost the same or more than the calories in any soda made by Coca Cola. My point is even healthy, organic and life affirming sugar calories are still sugar calories – and probably no amount of magic slimming ingredients will offset it.
This also contains more proprietary health formulas, namely, ResVida Reservatrol. I have seen reservatrol in a number of energy drinks before, such as Monster’s UberMonster, Bios Life Matcha tea, Solstic energy mix, and the delicious Black Grape Energy drink. This is special Brand Name reservatrol though. According to their website, the makers of Resvita, DSM, report that their reservatrol is the purest available on the market, and I don’t know about you but I really hate all that off-brand reservatrol.
The biggest reason people would pick this up for any reason is the energy, right? After all, it is called Energize Me. However, the energy in this bottl is pretty low – low enough to almost not count for a review. There is a whopping 50mg per 8 ounces of caffeine in here, or a little more than a Mountain Dew. Still for an energizing drink this did not have any real energy.
It is not a bad thing Genesis Today has passed on making more of these. While the mix is OK, there really is not enough of energy, taste or cool to warrant picking this up over the many other caffeinated juice drinks on the market today