Nine years ago I lost fifty pounds on weight watchers. I have kept it off. I had gained so much weight then because I was going through an emotional life crisis. It was a big one and it dealt with my business life.
I have had many ups and downs the last nine years but have been able to resist emotional eating since I lost the weight; until four days ago. I found myself turning to a tub of ice cream. I am talking no bowl, spoon in the carton eating. I know how to walk away from food. That day I lost the battle and it scared me. I felt miserable. The food did not make the problem go away. It only intensified my feeling of insecurity and left me feeling bloated and ugly.
I did not weigh the next morning because if it showed a gain, I know myself well enough from past battles with food and weight that I would say to myself, “Look at how you failed, Shelley Stutchman.”
I have learned in the past few years to build myself up with positive messages and goals. So for the next few days, the only nourishment I took was four Kellogg’s Protein drinks a day. It was my little personal ritual of cleansing my body and my mind of the emotional backslide into using food as a crutch. I did this to show my mind and my body I am in control. I do not want to backslide into the chunky, introverted, feeling like a failure woman I was 9 years ago.
My mother was not in control of her emotions and it cost her dearly. It cost her joy. She chose depression over happiness. So when I see myself going down that slippery slope I buck up. Watching her try to solve problems with pills, or therapy, or even threats of suicide I learned those things are not what it takes to live a positive life. A positive life is lived by having control over yourself and how you handle life’s ups and downs. Four days ago, I saw I lost the grip on emotional eating. There is no magic pill or video to watch to control this behavior. I have to control it, and I have to control it now. That is why I took the three day goal of having to resist the urge to eat, to resist the pangs of hunger; I had to show myself I was stronger than my weakness. I documented the journey here on quadrust.com for you. If it helps someone else, then my three day journey had a purpose not only for me but for another life too.
I had my shake for breakfast. I wanted food, but I did not let that want override the pride I would have in myself when I beat my weakness.
I went to the Wee Too for lunch with friends. I concentrated on enjoying my coffee and their conversation. I forced my mind not to let the smells make me break. A lot was at stake in that restaurant. My emotional and physical health was on the line. That was more important than a plate of food that would take me 15 minutes to eat.
I made it through the Wee Too; I felt strong and proud. A bigger test loomed before me in the afternoon. We went to Indian Creek Winery for wine and music. Two things I dearly love, especially when they are together. I went armed to make it. I had to prove to myself that my well-being was more important to me than my love of a glass of wine.
I made it through the winery with only water to drink. I just told myself, “Water is the best drink of all….it goes with everything.” I felt stronger; that was a good exercise for me in self-control. I learned one slip of eating ice cream from the carton was not going to get the better of me. I was stronger than an old habit that reared its ugly head.
Day one proved to be a complete success in self-control and emotional eating.
I woke up and was not hungry. I was feeling a great sense of control. I had my shake for breakfast. Felt confident that I could make it through day two and proved to myself I am no longer dependent on emotional eating.
I was so busy at work I did not even miss eating. I had a person ask if I had lost weight. That gave me the motivation to see this through for all three days.
I woke up wanting some bread, but I did not eat any. This was not about food; it was about being in charge of what I put in my mouth. Not letting cravings overpower me. I had my shake, some coffee, and water and was proud of myself for my success in having control over what I ate. I did not give into the weakness of a moments desire to taste some food. I made it through all three days and proved to myself I was strong.
Another test came that night as I sat down at Callahan’s with my friends. My friend ordered fish and chips. When I smelled her fries and looked at her batter crusted fish; for one second I wanted to break over and eat just one of her fries. But I knew if I did, this experiment in self-control would have come to an end and it was important I win.
I did it….I beat my biggest weakness, emotional eating. I feel strong in all areas of life now. Amazing how taking something hard and overcoming it makes you feel like you have your life back again. For me, not having any real food for three days, and not even once giving into my desires and cravings for food, for something to chew….how powerful that was. I am at peace with food once again. It tried to overtake me but I was stronger. Please take a look at what weakness in your life affects your well-being. Then figure out a difficult test for yourself, but one that is achievable, and do it. You will be amazed how proud you are of yourself and how showing your brain you have control over your decisions empowers you. Whether your weakness is relationships, drugs, food, gambling, perfectionism, you name it…..test yourself….and be more powerful than your weakness.
For more information about Kellogg’s Special K Protein Shake go to www.specialk.com
For more information about Weight Watchers go to www.weightwatchers.com
For more information about Herbalife shakes go to the Nutrition Nook in Enid, OK on Facebook.