Many people, at least until they have been at it awhile, have trouble getting motivated about taking care of themselves. While I can tell you with total honesty that I look forward to working out every day, and food-wise I rarely even think about eating anything that I know is not good for helping me to reach my fitness objectives.
Okay so that’s me and you probably don’t care about my deal. I understand that. But because I work with so many people wanting to get fit and, well, HOT, I learn stuff about what motivates them.
Are looks important?
Looks are important to me, and I’m pretty sure they are to you, which is why you read stuff like this. But why looks are important can be for different reasons. In the end if you want to live the fitness lifestyle and get a jaw-dropping physique, it’s going to require a bit more than wishful thinking. Much of it is psychological.
Most people I talk with want to get fit because they don’t think they are attractive enough to hang on to their current mate, or to attract a new mate — very often it’s the latter because they are burned out on the original and desperately want someone new.
There is the notion that a mate who suddenly starts working out and paying a lot of attention to how they look is sending a warning sign that they are interested in upgrading to a new and better relationship. There is also the theory that a mate who changes to a fitness lifestyle will leave their old mate behind if they don’t follow along. That is, if they haven’t already decided they want any part of their old mate.
I have said dozens of times that the fitness lifestyle is basically looks-motivated, at least at the start. Later on when you have experienced how great it is to feel alive and energetic along with having a hard body, you automatically slide into the fitness lifestyle unless you have something going on inside your mind that makes you think not very highly of yourself.
Shared philosophies make strong bedfellows — and hard bodies
One of the most important things in my relationship with my favorite female is that both of us believe in taking care of ourselves. And that goes beyond basic hygiene. I’m talking about how we look.
I would love Kimmie if something happened to her that affected how she looks. But to be honest, I would not have fallen in love with her if she had not been so smoking hot thanks to working out and eating sanely. As wonderful a person as she is, Kimmie’s looks made for a perfect package.
Both Kimmie and I believe that people who don’t take care of themselves have a missing character component. The big trouble with that is — and I’d warn anybody to watch out for this — People who are reasonably bright can learn anything … except how to have character. If they don’t have character, they aren’t ever.
My favorite senses when it comes to women
Sight, touch, and smell. So you think I’m a pig or something, right? I’m not. I just care about how women look, feel, and smell. The smell is all about hygiene, which is the easy part, except perfume makes me want to barf. Just be clean. And keep your beautiful body, beautiful instead of turning into a fat slob.
If you wonder, the same rules apply to me. I want Kimmie to get turned on touching me and being intimate with me. Most of what what I do workout and diet-wise is done to please her. Actually, I will anything she asks me to do. For instance, I started manscaping 20 years ago because she wanted me to do that. More than you wanted to know about me?
Here’s the point
While some men and women may prefer fat, out-of-shape mates; I’m pretty sure most of us would prefer a hard-body. If you take care of yourself, you are especially going to want a mate who does the same.
I’ve talked to lots of males and females in gyms. Some of the things they have to say about their mates are severe. I have yet to find anybody that is glad their mate is fat and out-of-shape. Guys are more overt about this; that is, they don’t much care if anybody hears them, which, wow, that’s crude even if the woman doesn’t know about it. Women tend to not talk about their displeasure unless they consider you a confidant.
I can tell you this: Being privy to the dirty laundry about relationships is not a fun position. Just isn’t pleasant.
I’ve never met anybody in a gym no matter what their age or gender, that doesn’t care about how they look. Nobody is there to get fat and out-of-shape.
And just like any group, it’s possible to segment the gym population and paint a fairly accurate picture of who is most any gym anywhere. Here, I’ll show you what I mean starting with the largest group and ending with the smallest.
Segment One: The biggest portion of a gym’s membership is already considerably more fit than the population at large, and just keeping up with the maintenance part of the fitness lifestyle. They are serious about their fitness and get their money’s worth from their gym dues. Usually you can almost set your watch by the time these folks walk in the front door. They are so predictable that you notice their absence if they don’t show up.
Segment Two: These people are trying to get back into shape. They come in all shapes and sizes and ages — from young to very old. Many are retired.
Segment Three: This group is trying to get back into shape because they are trying to save a relationship or have already decided to get out of a relationship and find a new mate. I talked about them a little in the fifth paragraph.
Segment Four: Those who have found a new mate and are trying to make themselves super-desirable. Also includes people that want to lose weight for a special occasion. The latter group will most likely be fat and out-of-shape again in short order.
Segment Five: A tiny segment. These are couples that train together. Few and far between, but admirable in that they almost always get along noticeably well. But just like most good relationships, few and far between.
I really don’t see anything wrong with grouping people like that. It’s just the way it is and I thought it might have some value if you are wondering if you should join a gym.
One thing I know for sure
If you let yourself get fat and sloppy enough, your lover may begin looking for reasons to not have to sleep in the same bed with you or even touch you. That sounds harsh, but I have had a lot of males and females tell me that their mates turn them off so much they don’t even like to look at them because it disgusts them that they have turned into fat slobs.
Don’t you think it is disrespectful to a mate when a partner lets themselves go?
More in the next column.
Remember to have an annual physical. Information presented by Thomas Amshay is for entertainment and not meant to cure, guide treatment, or take the place of a licensed health practitioner. Consult your health care team before starting any exercise program, diet, or supplement