In a tournament full of one-sided bouts, the Tampa Tantrums vs the Cape Fear Roller Girls nearly took the cake. At 336-50, Tampa’s victory set Franky Panky’s tone (the following (Men’s) bout would have a small, by comparison, 150-point differential) of massive blowouts. It wouldn’t be until Day Two that Tampa’s nearly 190-point victory would be beat by Atlanta. The wheel making a full rotation, as years ago it was Tampa who took a sound Atlanta beating that kick-started the Tantrums’ rise, so one hopes that Cape Fear learned as much here as Tampa did then.
Their first bout of the day (and the tournament), Tampa came out swinging. with the Tantrums unleashing Little A on a unsuspecting Cape Fear. 14 points later, the Tantrums’ message was clear: they weren’t pulling punches (14-0). From there the sky was the limit, as Tampa’s Bettie Kruger, Blaque Jac, and Leia Flat anchored the defense; giving Cape Fear’s Cathlick Skoolgirl and Dirty SanJaz few opportunities to make it through the pack (35-0). Cape Fear finally making it on the scoreboard after Tampa’s jammer fouled out, and Fear caught Blaque Jac for a goat (38-5).
Then there was Lunch Lady. The Tantrums’ equivalent of roller derby personified into human form. As teammate Lily the Kid kept Lola Von Lethal trapped in the pack, Lunch just scored. Relentlessly scored, and scored, occasionally hit, then scored some more. It probably wouldn’t be too far from the truth to posit that the only reason Lunch agreed to jam was so that she could block from anywhere on the track (98-5).
Cape Fear getting their chance at payback once penalties slowed down Tampa’s war machine. Fear’s Hawaiian Puncher knocking Little A out of bounds to curb Tampa’s scoring while Cathlick Skoolgirl enjoyed a relatively easy jam as the Tantrums’ blockers filled the box (98-9). Dirty San Jaz sneaking by Lunch Lady for a few points before Tic Tac Toni and Blaque Jac spotted, and thus stopped, her (114-17). The Cape’s resolve is there, as they showed against Bella Trixx (142-19), just not the skill set.
Unfortunately for Cape Fear, nothing changed for the rest of the bout. As typified by a big Rojo Grande jam after Fear had goated Leia Flat (200-33). The coup de grace coming when Cape Fear’s defense began filling the penalty box; allowing the Tantrums to push their lead to absurd proportions (278-71). Leading up to the day’s largest (and Franky Panky’s second largest) point spread, Tampa over Cape Fear: 336-50.